Confession of a Plain Jane

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Who am I?

A simple, yet tough question, that I find (sometimes) intimidating. An over-thinker by default, getting caught into a deep thinking over a trivial matter is SO ME!

Same case happened when I joined this project, the One Day One Post. Somehow, I don’t know where does my creativity live now. Hiding somewhere, nowhere to be found. Leaving these insecurities, low self-esteem version of me, doubts of “can I make good writings” scattered all over the place.

That’s why, right now, you are reading this weird topic.

About me. The uptight Plain Jane.

Is this a sarcasm? A hideous manner of putting yourself as a laughing stock?

Behold, my dear. Not. At. All.

On the other hand, I am contemplating. Trying to get myself out from this labirynth of doom and gloom.

Picture THIS.

Almost my whole life, many people viewed me as an over-achiever. Someone who looks for an ultimate perfection. A person who will be sulking if she failed to be the best. Choleric. Alpha female. Type A woman. You name it.

Yet, inside these precious grey cells, my inner sanctuary, I’m just some Plain Jane, girl-next-door type of a lady.

On many occasions, I don’t like to be under the spotlight. I tried to be below the radar. I feared being popular will lead me to something bad.

Apparently, my antics or peculiar hobbies brought me elsewhere. They got me recognized, beyond my own will.

Another story, mostly I just wanted to be original, since being (too) superficial often disgust me. What I get at the end, I put myself outside the main population. Well done, genius! *sigh*

Back to the One Day One Post theme, about my writings. Honestly, when I took glimpses to several blogs participated in this project, I felt so little. These mommies can make genuine writings, know many things about being a talented mother, really good at something, and confident to share them with the whole world.

Once again, this Plain Jane barely moves herself from her seat. She got cold feet.

It is MEGA difficult to find something that I really good at. Something useful, I mean.

Cooking? Nah..
Parenting with style? Nope.
Fashion? Beats me..
Travelling? Not my thing..
Being artsy and crafty? Yikes!
Religious opinions? Not a chance, amigo..

And list goes on..

Maybe I can proudly said, I am Jane of all trades. I know many things, although I am far from mastering them. I just like to try and taste, and then walk away.

Consistency.

That is the lost ingredient.

Therefore, with all these randomness inside my head. Despite the fact that I am dealing with tons of uncertainties in my life right now, I put all my courage to write again.

Write anything. Write something. Speak up my mind, or my ideas, or just type those bla-bla-bla down here.

God knows, maybe it can be useful for someone, entertain them, or inspire somebody to get out from their shell. Amen to that, sister!

Hopefully, by writing consistently for 99 days, I will find a new light. A good side of me. Discovered a strength that I never noticed before. Improved this story-telling skill. Something positive to poke this Plain Jane and encourage her to become a confident, Poised Princess.

Yet, being a Plain Jane is not a crime. In fact, being an underdog, will get you a bigger picture of hard work and unleash greater creavity, eventually.

Currently, I am struggling to convice myself. That I am worthy enough to live on. To find and chase my dreams. To accept that things could happen outside our agenda and we cannot control ALL of our fate. To understand the message behind my problems and restless minds.

Once again, welcome to my world. Meet this (self-proclaimed) Plain Jane. Nice to know you 🙂

#ODOPfor99Days #Day6

Pardon me for this unstructured post. Please discard any mistake on the grammar or dictions. Still learning to use a proper English, though.

pic : gettyimages.com

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